Does the path ahead scare you or excite you? 

Have you considered what is yet to be completed or what is yet to start?

Last night, as we entered the Full Moon, I sat with my Father at 6am - dementia mixes up a person’s circadian rhythm (and their loved ones!) resulting in the nighttime oftentimes feeling as if it is day. Given the lack of daytime noise, distractions, and the world around us being fast asleep, this is when my Dad is often at his clearest in his thinking and speaking. So with cup of tea in hand, this is when we chat about his reflections, a mix of humour, and his need to get things in order. Nightime for him is when he thinks clearest, yet for many of us, being awake at nighttime is when we are kept awake by our fears and the sense of the undone. 

As my Dad sat and spoke about what he wants to get done, I was grateful that the weekend before I had filed his paperwork and made sure everything was accessible. Even with continued reassurance that all was in check, his awareness of his dementia questions his surety that he has remembered everything to get done. The mind fascinates me and has me ever wondering how we spend so much of our lives avoiding what we want to do and hold off what we should do, and live our nights anxious about all that is building up to get done. 

In our first two 'moon' letters (monthly newsletters issued on the Full Moon and New Moon) we looked at Decluttering, reviewing our Digital Legacy, and ultimately getting started to get our plans in place, to make space for our life yet to live. For this, our second Full Moon newsletter, we guide on identifying your 'I Am' and also the checklist to getting started in putting your advanced plans in place.

To discuss your circumstances and help you work through any blocks or fears, please book a call if you would like us to help you get your plans in place at https://calendly.com/livinglegacy-ie/introduction or book your first coaching session directly and learn more about how our work in end of life planning and succession planning will help you, at https://www.livinglegacy.ie/?cid=94bcd143-ffba-471b-8609-4442c23b9d4a 

Upcoming Events

For those of you working in the non-profit space in Ireland, I will be giving a webinar this coming Friday (1st March) for The Wheel, on Succession Planning. Further details available at https://www.wheel.ie/training/2024/03/7-steps-succession-webinar

We are also in the process of developing a Legacy Building online programme and monthly webinar series to help you get your plans in place. To sign up to our waiting list, to be the first to know once it is ready to book, please go to https://www.livinglegacy.ie/store?cid=94bcd143-ffba-471b-8609-4442c23b9d4a

We share some more insights and guidance below, so if there is anything you would like to have included in future newsletters, please reach out at [email protected].

Thanks for your interest.

Jen x

Jennifer McConnell (Founder)

What is Your 'I Am'?

In recent weeks Valentines Day was upon us - a time of love and celebration of those dearest to us. The lead up in commercials and retail stores was from the beginning of January, yet the day after February 14th the focus was then on to the next event and Valentines was long gone.

Yet the best act of love, for me, is to get plans in place to protect my loved ones for when I'm not around, so we can enjoy the time we yet get to share together.

Talking with clients, and those curious about our work here at Living Legacy, many spend more time caught up in self doubt and hesitation, procrastinating getting started in case we get it wrong, and worried about what others will think. Yet regardless of how others think, we first must be clear in who we are for ourselves. Yet how we are positively experienced by others often isn't fully realised.

On Valentines day I sent the team from one client their 'I Am's'. This is a wonderful exercise I do with clients, to help them better consider who they are. How can we expect others to remember us and our legacy without first giving it attention ourselves.

For organisations I combine a focus on Values and a 360 Degree feedback of each other's contribution to the work, the team, and the wider community. The love that was expressed within each of these 'I Am's' was inspiring because it was how they experience each other, and a nice reminder to each individual of the value they bring to the team. We can often forget who we are, and instead get caught up with a sense of lack in who we want to be. As with any aspect of ourselves that we want to improve, we first need to be clear on who we are right now. The I Am picture above is my own, which was compiled from the 3 word exercise I invited my friends and family to contribute about me. Some words were duplicated, others were not necessarily positive, but a reality of many aspects of my character. When we consider ourselves we know we are wide ranging in our feelings, our actions, and our sense of self. Yet often, each person in our life gets a fraction of our full being. Asking a wide range of people to contribute allows for a fuller picture to be fully known.

The I Am exercise is one I invite you to try. 

1. Describe yourself in 3 words

2. Invite 10-20 people (or as many as you like) to describe you in 3 words.

3. Whatever comes back, don't react, but thank the sender, and reflect for yourself.

4. Gather the words (I used excel) to identify where some words may have replicated

5. Go to www.wordcloud.com and input the words and the weighting - (e.g. if you received 15 words, 5 of which were duplicated, then note how many times one word was repeated, total the final amount, and then divide to get the weighting).

6. Your Word Cloud should appear, where you can select the shape of the 'cloud'

 7. Print and hang up somewhere you will regularly see (desk, fridge, bathroom mirror)

8. Enjoy!

You can listen to a recent interview where I spoke about the 3 Word I Am exercise at https://www.livinglegacy.ie/press-page?cid=94bcd143-ffba-471b-8609-4442c23b9d4a (bottom of the page)

The Starting Check List

The biggest block to most people getting their advanced plans in place, and the first claim most people make is 'I Don't Know Where to Start!'.

Whether for life, for business, or for death, there are a few starting points we recommend you consider:

1. What are your biggest concerns - for parents it might be figuring out how to ensure your children will be cared for if you are gone; for those in the later years of their life, they might not want conflict within their family once they die; for most of us it is presumption that we don't have that much so why bother putting in place a will, a financial plan, or even having these conversations.

2. If you died yesterday what are the key aspects that you would want your loved ones to know? The biggest things for them will be:

a. What do you want to happen to your remains - do you want to donate, cremate, bury?

b. What type of ceremony would you want to acknowledge your departure?

c. Who would you want to know that you have gone?

d. What of your belongings would you like other people to have - both as a memento of your place in their life, but also in honour of how much they mean to you.

e. How will they pay for everything? - regardless of whether or not you have a will, it still costs money to wrap up someone's life - from granting probate to allow belongings and assets to be divided, to paying outstanding bills, closing off utilities, selling a house, and even paying for the funeral itself.

3. Get a Health Check - there is no point fearing potential health issues in the future, when you can get a full health check to identify if any issues exist right now. This will give you peace of mind, but also allow for any issues to be addressed.

4. Set up your Advanced Healthcare Directive - this ensures that you can put in place a Power of Attorney so that you have clearly identified what you do or do not want to happen to you, your business, your finances, and your health.

The benefits in doing so ensure that your loved ones (and business partners) know what you want long before it may ever need to be activated. If something sudden happened - an accident, a stroke, etc., having your Enduring Power of Attorney in place ensures your wishes are considered, and you take charge in what will happen to you and for you.

In Ireland you must sign up to www.decisionsupportservice.ie.

For the UK check out the NHS information site - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/end-of-life-care/planning-ahead/advance-statement/

For the USA check out the US Governments National Institute of Aging -  https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/advance-care-planning/advance-care-planning-advance-directives-health-care

For Australia check out https://www.health.gov.au/topics/palliative-care/planning-your-palliative-care/advance-care-directive

For the Philippines check out https://www.paalam.ph/help-support/guide-to-advance-care-directives

For other countries, check with your National Health provider for further information. 

 5. Will - these are not mandatory but very much help ease the burden on your loved ones, and also greatly help clarify your wishes and reduce the likelihood of family strife. Upon death, your estate must be granted probate (in Ireland, if over 25,000 Euro) and the process is drawn out. However, if you choose to do a Will yourself there is risk that it won't be deemed valid after you have died, so that is why it is important to get a legal advisor to ensure everything is done correctly.

Most lawyers will have an introductory FREE call so check them out to find out what is involved before you decided.

6. Financial Planning - even if you don't have much in terms of cash, assets, investments, or pension, you may end up inheriting from family members that may put you over thresholds for tax. What you have in your name will get divided up amongst your loved ones, so why not make things easier for you and your loved ones to reduce tax liability and also to help you to enjoy your life and your monies now and in the future? We recommend you source a reputable and qualified Financial Planner (check out www.step.org for international accredited financial planners, and www.lia.ie in Ireland). Most, if not all, Financial Planners will have a FREE introductory call with you so use this as the opportunity to understand what you may need to consider to help you enjoy life, and your loved ones to benefit after your death.

We Can Help You

If you're not sure how to get started, or even what you want your legacy to be, let us help you!

Through our Advanced Planning and Legacy Building work we work with you through one-to-one supports and organisational consulting.

Whether to get your plans in place, or even to take stock, having a listening ear and a guiding hand can help you take charge in how you move forward.

To take action now and start working on you and your legacy, sign up for a free introductory call at https://calendly.com/livinglegacy-ie/introduction or, even better, sign up for a coaching call through the website (click on 'Learn More' below).

For now, I want to thank you for being here, and for giving yourself this opportunity to consider your life, your legacy, and what is next for you.

By getting your plans in place now will give yourself more restful nights and fulfilled days.

Jen x

Jennifer McConnell (Founder of Living Legacy)