How Will You Go?
It is interesting when we have vision of our ideal life, that we often fear thinking of our ideal death.
A constant comment people tell me when they learn of my work in end of life planning is 'oh just switch off the machine' or 'throw me off the cliff' or even 'I don't care what people do'. Yet the reality is very different when decisions must be made by your loved ones. We are fast approaching Easter, the time of endings and new beginnings through resurrection, so death is amongst us, even if it is through prayer, stories, and a faith. Yet death does not discriminate, and is something we all must experience, regardless of your beliefs. So make sure to consider what is important to you and how you want to go. If you don't really mind what your family decide, make sure you communicate that to them but also make sure to tell them what you don't want, so they know.
In Ireland, a government committee reviewed Assisted Dying and discussed experiences from other countries and families who were faced with these considerations for a loved one. They propose legislation be created to allow people the right to secure assistance in dying if their life is no longer viable for living. The report on this is now available at https://data.oireachtas.ie/ie/oireachtas/committee/dail/33/joint_committee_on_assisted_dying/reports/2024/2024-03-20_final-report-of-the-joint-committee-on-assisted-dying_en.pdf
Assisted dying in Ireland is illegal, yet while there are options to avail of assisted dying abroad, bear in mind that you would have to go alone as there may be implications for loved ones accompanying you upon their return.
The discussion on assisted dying is important to have, as there may be people who seek this option, and those who are fervently opposed to it. By having the conversation helps you and your loved ones know what is right for you. Proceeding with assisted dying will involve medical sign off so there will be various steps to keep you accountable throughout, and also ensure there is no coercion or negative implications for vulnerable people or their carers with these decisions.
Once death happens, there are so many options for our bodies that we often aren't aware that there are considerations for each. Below are a few considerations so please do let me know if there are any more to add.
1. If you wish to Donate Your Organs, who have you told? Will your organs be viable? To get an organ donor card go to:
Ireland - https://ika.ie/get-a-donor-card/
UK - https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/helping-you-to-decide/about-organ-donation/the-nhs-organ-donor-card/
USA - https://www.organdonor.gov/sign-up
Australia - https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/how-to-register-australian-organ-donor?context=22331#:~:text=Once%20you've%20recorded%20your,of%20your%20decision%20to%20donate.
Philippines - https://nkti.gov.ph/index.php/news/newsroom/1278-sign-an-organ-donor-card-today
For All Other Countries - Check Your Health Department for guidance on becoming an organ donor.
Please note, as far as I know, that your organs can only be taken if you are in or near a hospital at the time of death, so make sure you have an alternative option. One is to donate your brain so check with your medical university for their options - e.g. in Ireland contact https://www.rcsi.com/dublin/research-and-innovation/research/resources-and-facilities/biobank/dublin-brain-bank
2. If you wish to Donate your body to medical research contact your local medical university for their application. In Ireland you can donate through:
a. Trinity College Dublin - https://www.tcd.ie/medicine/anatomy/donation-of-remains/, and
b. Royal College of Surgeons Ireland - https://www.rcsi.com/dublin/about/faculty-of-medicine-and-health-sciences/academic-departments/anatomy-and-regenerative-medicine/anatomical-gift-programme
Please note that when you donate your body, this is taken within 12-24 hours so there is no body for a funeral. Also, if you die for non-natural causes requiring an autopsy then your body won't be accepted, so make sure you have a back-up option.
3. The next consideration is what you want done with your remains (as well as after your organs/body/brain are donated). You can be:
a. buried traditionally in a burial plot in a local cemetery - check with your local cemetery / local council. You may no longer be able to pre-buy a plot for burial so find out the circumstances so your family know what you want to happen to your remains and the necessary arrangements are made in advance.
b. buried in a natural burial centre - these are usually non-denominational and also have different options. In Ireland, there are:
i. Woodbrook in Wexford - https://www.greengraveyard.com/
ii. Knockma in Galway - https://www.knockmawoodlandburial.com/
iii. Aghadoe in Kerry - https://aghadoelawncemetery.com/services/burials/
c. Fire cremation - this is the more popular choice in recent decades. Options in Ireland are available at https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/death/practical-arrangements-after-a-death/cremations/
d. Water cremation - the first in Europe is in Ireland. Check out https://www.purereflections.ie/
There are other non-traditional methods of burial - from mushroom to composting, to having your ashes scattered at sea (check out https://www.gov.ie/en/service/de81b8-burial-at-sea/), so check your local community / local council to find out alternative options for your remains.
There are so many considerations these days, so make sure you familiarise yourself with the various options in your dying and your death. It maybe that one option is not possible, so what is your second choice? Your loved ones will want to do right by your wishes, so give yourself the opportunity to decide what you want.
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